Well, I stole this post from Juliie-Anna...she posted this awhile back and I wanted to post something fresh, and this is really amusing...enjoy!
Lawyers, Lawyers
THE LAWYER: This myasthenia gravis, does it affect your memory at all?
THE WITNESS: Yes.
THE LAWYER: And in what ways does it affect your memory?
THE WITNESS: I forget.
THE LAWYER: You forget? Can you give us an example of something that you have forgotten?
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THE LAWYER: Now doctor, isn't it true that when a person dies in his sleep, he doesn't know about it until the next morning?
THE WITNESS: Did you actually pass the bar exam? __________________________________
THE LAWYER: The youngest son, the twenty-year-old, how old is he? __________________________________
THE LAWYER: Were you present when your picture was taken? __________________________________
THE LAWYER: She had three children, right?
THE WITNESS: Yes.
THE LAWYER: How many were boys?
THE WITNESS: None.
THE LAWYER: Were there any girls?
__________________________________
THE LAWYER: How was your first marriage terminated?
THE WITNESS: By death.
THE LAWYER: And by whose death was it terminated? __________________________________
THE LAWYER: Can you describe the individual?
THE WITNESS: He was about medium height and had a beard.
THE LAWYER: Was this a male, or a female?
__________________________________
THE LAWYER: Doctor, how many autopsies have you performed on dead people?
THE WITNESS: All my autopsies are performed on dead people. __________________________________
THE LAWYER: Do you recall the time that you examined the body?
THE WITNESS: The autopsy started around 8:30 p.m.
THE LAWYER: And Mr. Dennington was dead at the time?
THE WITNESS: No, he was sitting on the table wondering why I was doing an autopsy.
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THE LAWYER: Doctor, before you performed the autopsy, did you check for a pulse?
THE WITNESS: No.
THE LAWYER: Did you check for blood pressure?
THE WITNESS: No.
THE LAWYER: Did you check for breathing?
THE WITNESS: No.
THE LAWYER: So, then it is possible that the patient was alive when you began the autopsy?
THE WITNESS: No.
THE LAWYER: How can you be so sure, Doctor?
THE WITNESS: Because his brain was sitting on my desk in a jar.
THE LAWYER: But could the patient have still been alive, nevertheless?
THE WITNESS: Yes, it is possible that he could have been alive and practicing law somewhere.
2 comments:
Here's another:
Client: Are you a lawyer?
Lawyer: Yes.
Client: How much do you charge?
Lawyer: $100 for 4 questions.
Client: Isn't that awfully expensive?
Lawyer: Yes. What's your 4th question?
Wow...excellent...I like it.
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