Humility

   I went to Mass in Pittsburgh on Sunday. The sermon was on humility, and I think it was one of the best I've heard lately.

   The priest was talking about how, in order to become like Christ, we had to become humble. He read the passage where Jesus says not to take the best seat at a banquet lest you be humiliated and have to move for someone greater; rather, you should take a humble seat so that you may be honored without demanding it. Clearly the point of this story, he said, was not etiquette; it went much deeper and only illustrated a greater point. That point, of course, was humility.
   It had never quite sunk in to me how basic humility is to the Christian...and though this may not sound like a groundbreaking idea, it really is when you see it in the right light. The priest drew two parallels: pride involves disrespect, but humility involves respect. If you are proud before someone, you do not respect them, and the kind of "respect" you have for yourself is only mock-respect. But if you are humble before them, in the right way, you respect them as you should and without taking away from your own self-respect.

   True humility is crucial. I think we react to the idea because we often encounter a sort of mock-humility: something that involves a derogatory attitude toward oneself. And yet we compensate by going to the opposite extreme: we are "entitled" to things; we are "proud of who we are"; we are "fabulous"; no one "has the right" to cross us.
   But this is arrogance. Instead of replacing lack of respect with respect, we are simply shifting it off ourselves to others. In the process, we become obnoxiously self-centered. Really, there is no "lesser of two evils" here, between false humility or arrogant pride. What we actually need is true humility, which is rooted in true respect. If we could see that humility begins with respect, as pride goes hand-in-hand with disrespect, it would revolutionize our understanding of the concept.

   The humility we need specifically as Christians is, of course, toward God. This is the most extreme form of it; and really one of the most beautiful as well. For when we see--truly see--the degree to which we are unworthy before God, it brings us to our knees before Him, even to tears. Though we are small and weak, myopic and sometimes rather ugly, He loves us with a Love we can't imagine--a Love, in fact, that would kill us if we were to be exposed to it now, in its fullness. That Love has nothing to do with whether or not we deserve it: it is despite it. Yes, He wants to heal us, but not because of our merits: it is thanks to Him we have any at all! He wants to heal us because He is a Father eternally and because we are His creation. He created us to love us, and that we might love Him. Were we to absolutely refuse Him, His love would remain. His justice would take vengeance, and yet He would still Love us. And He does more than simply Love us: He has chosen to understand our weakness, not just put up with it. He has chosen to be patient with us and our failures; He has even stooped down to our level to help us up to Him. This is the sort of humility we must have before God: absolute gratitude for such incredible mercy.

   And out of such humility before God must flow humility toward others. How can we, before such a merciful God, see ourselves as entitled to anything? The idea becomes preposterous to think of. It has nothing to do with whether others should treat us in a better manner; they probably should. But do you realize the ridiculous hypocrisy of becoming angered because we are entitled to such treatment? Are we not guilty of the same thing, and do we not wrong God in even more dreadful ways? It is as though, unconsciously, we have decided we were little gods. We must remember that we are not innocent of the very faults we see in others. We are all in the same boat.

   But lastly, out of humility (and respect) before God and fellow-man, it is necessary to respect yourself. This is the most difficult one to explain, because of the way "self-respect" is used nowadays. I absolutely do not mean a sort of mild narcissism in which our focus is that we deserve respect. We have no business deciding how others "should look at us"; and it isn't about what we deserve. We don't deserve much of anything at all; yet we are precious individuals. Proper self-respect is a refusal to degrade oneself in attitude or in deed. Despite our failings, we are human persons. Each human person, even fallen, has an inherent inviolable dignity: the immense dignity of selfhood. This dignity is a divine decree that it is a crime to desecrate. To desecrate your own dignity is a crime just as it is a crime to desecrate another's. This is the reason we should out of principle respect others' personhood; and it is the reason we should never violate our own dignity either. We are selves, selves that relate to others, and thus there is a precious bond of dignity going from our inviolable selfhood to that of others, one that should never be disrespected. This kind of respect is foundational to true humility. You cannot be humble before others without proper self-respect; and neither can you be humble without respecting them. Like I said, humility is rooted in respect--it has to be, or it isn't humility.

I know that's a lot to digest, but it's really important to understand. If I have time, I'll probably post more on this subject later. I think, though, this is enough for now.