To begin, I know a lot of evangelical Christian culture talks about the Free Gift of salvation. It in no way wants to minimize anything in Christianity, but I think it does anyway. We are told over and over, time and time again, that grace is a free gift we cannot merit, that, even if we sin, we are children of God still. That God loves us unconditionally and readily forgives us and picks us up when we fall. That we need to forgive ourselves, not feel guilty, feel good because God has forgotten it. We would be almost more guilty not to feel ok about ourselves.
But this isn't the point. Jesus' message is not some 2,000-year-old version of the feel-good self-help fads we're fed at every turn. There is so much about self esteem, feeling good, not feeling guilty, all mixed into the incomparable message of Christ that it dilutes it--worse, distorts it, and does so terribly. I think it is important to realize that Jesus did not come to pump up our self-esteem, to make us powerful people of the world that nothing will get down. He came, dear loved siblings, for so much more, for something so much deeper, peaceful, lasting, ecstatic--yet sober, deeply sober.
I think the key to true happiness is not in recognizing what great people we are (our hearts are black), but in understanding the Heart, Mind, and Sacrifice of the One that created us. Our worth derives from Him, only Him. We are His image, not because we're great people, but because He is a great God.
But this isn't the point. Jesus' message is not some 2,000-year-old version of the feel-good self-help fads we're fed at every turn. There is so much about self esteem, feeling good, not feeling guilty, all mixed into the incomparable message of Christ that it dilutes it--worse, distorts it, and does so terribly. I think it is important to realize that Jesus did not come to pump up our self-esteem, to make us powerful people of the world that nothing will get down. He came, dear loved siblings, for so much more, for something so much deeper, peaceful, lasting, ecstatic--yet sober, deeply sober.
I think the key to true happiness is not in recognizing what great people we are (our hearts are black), but in understanding the Heart, Mind, and Sacrifice of the One that created us. Our worth derives from Him, only Him. We are His image, not because we're great people, but because He is a great God.
The problem, the huge piece missing, is one essential truth. One that we have failed to ponder as we ought, forgetting ourselves in the feel-good positiveness of modern Christianity. (Yes, it has its flaws, as did other eras.) We forget that there is a deeper, more sober, heart-wrenching and total weeping-for-gratitude-inducing truth; one that, if remembered, should make us want to fall on our knees, our face, holding the feet of One who deserves our endless love more than anything or anyone in the entire universe. And that one truth, that earth shattering reality to those who have forgotten it, is this.
We have forgotten the Sacrifice.
It is the most costly gift our God could ever give us.
Have you ever contemplated the steps your God took from the Mount to the Cross--every hateful gaze, every man that spit on His holy, loving face, every blow across his bare back, every fall he took while men mocked him and shoved him on impatiently, every drop of red blood that fell down his body? Have you ever thought how His mercy did not fail, even then--even when the most unutterable atrocities were being done to Him as he walked among His own creation? Have you ever gazed upon His form hanging on the Cross...simply gazing, not reasoning or remembering Bible verses...simply looking?
If we remembered to do that, if we thought to remind our ever-forgetful selves why we have been set free; that we were bought at a great Ransom, how much more grateful would we be?
Please, let us not blithely sing songs of praise in forgetfulness of why we sing them. Let this not define our lives.
We can never be humble enough before our God; we can never be thankful enough; we can never love him and worship him enough. We are a strange mix of nothingness and broken goodness; we are not worthy to be called sons of God...yet God has chosen to do so. He has chosen to love our meager goodness, marred by our infidelity, to accept our weak response of love, and be beaten and die, scorned by the very ones he came to save, separated from His Father by our own offenses against Him, forgiving our dreadful ignorance and covering us in his priceless and holy blood--yes, bridging the gap we in our helplessness are powerless to bridge; but not calling it "ok", not calling it so by the very fact of His precious bloodshed--and yet filling us with His righteousness, inspiring us to serve Him who deserves our service more than anyone that will ever exist.
Though we feel it is not right that we should not find perfection through our own works...it truly is, for we are helpless in that respect; our efforts will be fruitless, never producing what our Lord desires. For the essence of our perfected nature is dependence on Him; how can we even begin a journey towards that place, independently, not driven by divine Love? The very basis is wrong; it is not of ourselves that we are worthy of anything, but because of God--even in a perfect existence it would be so.
Christ has died to cleanse away our sins; He has died so that the mistake may be undone, that the tangled knot may be untied, by the only One who is worthy or able to do so. He has died to make us worthy, through him and not us.
Such a gift calls for moments of ecstatic joy...yet also ones of sober and tearful gratitude, ones in which it dawns upon us that our God is worthy to be worshipped and that we owe him our service, that His love means we would fall on our faces in complete adoration, holding his feet as we call Him our God.
Words can never adequately explain the immense mystery of our faith; in fact, they often can confuse us if we rely on our own reason too much. Yet sometimes they can serve to remind us of deep truths we forget, re-instilling in us a sense of awe, sober joy, love, weeping celebration, and joyful freedom--because of Christ. May such truths never leave us as we seek to follow Jesus as his humble friends.
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